And Here We Go...

I guess I've known for 6 or 7 years that it would eventually come to this...my first visit to a fertility clinic. Why, after so long have we decided to darken the door of such a place? I can't really come up with an answer myself. For some reason (which I'm still trying to figure out)things have led to this during the past year.

I walked in, signed in, and sat down looking through the unnervingly thick welcome packet listing all the genetic testing I need to opt in or out of. Let's not leave out the 4 or 5 different fliers about acupuncture and how it can increase your chances for conception by 45%. Maybe my lack of acupuncture is the problem? And last but not least, the disclaimer I had to sign for risks of conceiving a child after 30. Just as I was closing the ever so encouraging informational packet and considering the option of just getting up and leaving...I was summoned.

His office was big, the chairs were plush, his desk as shiny as those tables in interrogation rooms on TV. Would it feel like an interrogation? He looked just like Mel Gibson (not that that makes any difference as to his skill or abilities). I was informed he had analyzed all my records and had determined a plan of action. After hearing the two options he presented, I felt nothing. I seriously sat there not knowing what to say or ask. He told me his first choice which of course wasn't my first choice.

After deciding where to start, I was shuffled off to another room with Traci, the nurse. Ahh...Traci and her perfect liquid eyeliner...She went over charts and medication lists and required procedures not to mention their state-of-the-art sperm donation room. (Poor Robb...he's a trooper). We set up a plan and I was signed out. And that was that.

Perhaps this will work or perhaps we're destined for just two cute little brown boys. They fulfill (and sometimes infuriate) me like nothing else, definitely more than I thought possible 7 years ago. I guess we'll just roll with what we've been dealt and our limited options. Our infertility has led us to become different people today. More open, more loving, more empathetic, more faithful, more prayerful, more dependant on God. Those are good things. I'll focus on that for now.